Ericksonian Principles

Struggle

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sailing away on a windy day
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Sometimes we give up too soon when there is a struggle. Struggle is part of the process of learning something new.  We got to struggle a little before the learning can connect well in our brain. Struggling to learn something new doesn’t mean that we’re not capable of learning, it just means it’s going to take longer to learn it. Struggling doesn’t mean we’re too stupid enough to learn it.  The struggle is about not giving up, and being persistent until it’s no longer a struggle.  We’re always going to face struggles in our lives.  We can see our struggle as more of an opportunity to learn something rather than a burden to carry.

See Color, not Gray

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Eight drinking straws in rainbow colors

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It’s never too late to learn about ourselves and about the world around us. Learning is the prerequisite to creating new meaning in our lives.  Having meaning in our lives helps us to deal better with life problems. Having meanings can bring different colors into our world. Our world doesn’t have to be gray, black or white, instead have a rainbow of colors. Learning something for the first time can seem to look gray, but when we get into experiencing what we’re learning, the gray begin to turn into colors. Our mind gets open to many possibilities when we see different colors.

Mundane Things, We have To Do

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Tennoji

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There are some things that are required of us to do that we don’t want to do.  And these are the things that will help us move ahead in life —in the long run. The small mundane things are really the backbone of the great things we want to do. Inspiration is like a spark while doing the mundane work is like a fire. We all resisted in doing something we don’t want to do, but after doing it, we experience a feeling of satisfaction. We ought not allow the feeling of resistance keep us from doing what is necessary to move ahead and complete things.

Transitioning

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life-cycle of the butterfly

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Winter is close approaching. Thanksgiving is around the corner. The leaves are falling again. The summer clothes are back in the closet and the winter clothes are out of the closet. Preparation is our advantage now. This year 2012 is nearing to the end believe it or not. It’s amazing how fast the year has gone by. These are transitioning periods; we ought to respect, accept and adjust. Life is always in transition, for it to survive.  Life is created, then destroy and recreated-this is the cycle of life.

The Struggle Strengthens

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pushing through the desert
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When the possibility of our dream is becoming a reality, we shouldn’t run the other way. It’s easier to sabotage or delay our dreams, than to continue pushing towards our dream. Making our dream a reality is like pushing a heavy load of bricks up a hill-it isn’t easy. Nonetheless, it’s nice to look back on our progress because that can motivate us to push harder and continue forward until we get to where we want to go. Success can also be hard to deal with because we’ve become accustomed to the struggle. The struggle to succeed becomes our purpose instead of meeting our goal we have set for ourselves, but the struggle can make us stronger for the next difficult task.

Letting A Friend Grow

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Saying Goodbye 85/365
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For us to grow, sometimes we have to let a friend go. For a friend to grow, we have to let go of a friend. Our lives are constantly changing, therefore, we have to constantly adapt to changes. Changes require flexibility on our part. Sometimes, we don’t want to be flexible because we enjoy having our routine. A routine has structure and structure helps us to feel safe. Structure is good but flexibility is better and we’re not easily broken when we’re flexible. To become flexible we must accept the circumstances because it makes it easier for us to readjust, and  it also helps with lowering our stress and our anxiety levels.

 

The Human Spirit

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Williamsburg Waterfront Brooklyn Hurricane Sandy

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We need each other more than ever when disaster strikes. When we work together and have a common cause anything is possible. The human spirit always transcends adversities. We somehow get through difficulties when it seems impossible at the moment to move forward. Action is one of the most powerful agents we can use to get through things. When life-changing events affect us directly or indirectly as a people, we need to come together and help one another to get through them. We don’t have to feel alone in time of need. We can always uplift one another when we’re down.

A Better Place

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Hand mirror

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Do we have a vision for ourselves? Vision is about imagining the world and ourselves differently. If we want to make a change in the world, then we first start with us. Once we start making changes, then the world we see begin to change. Or at least certain things we’ve seen before are changing. Sometimes we project our inner turmoil into the world. Nonetheless, we do have enough proof that the world isn’t perfect. There are starving people in the world, the homeless, orphans, wars, crimes, therefore we still need to believe that there is hope, and imagine our world a better place.

This Day

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Day out at Waldringfield

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Nothing is worth more than this day. ~ Goethe

Today is what we are experiencing now; it is all we have. Tomorrow is only imagined and yesterday is only remembered. But with the present, we have all we need. What is in front of us is what we attend to that is important. As children we were more present in each of our days, than we are as adults. We don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen, or what we’re going to do next. We don’t have to re-live our past traumas that are keeping us from living in the moment.  We don’t have to live in the past or in the future, because ‘now’ is always the right time.

Rest and Production

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Balance

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“It is better to conquer yourself, than to win a thousand battles.” ˜ Buddha

Sometimes we think our battle is external. But the truth is that the battle is within. Once we know that to be true, then we can concentrate on what the conflicts are. The battle is between two parts: our desire to meet goals and our desire to rest. The conflict is when the two parts are competing simultaneously. The two parts have to work sequentially. We need to take breaks after a long nonstop workday. We’re made to work but for us to continue to we must rest to rejuvenate. We can conquer ourselves easily when the parts are in balance.

An Antidote for Despair

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PROACTIVE - My Word in Your Hand

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Action is the antidote to despair. ~ Joan Baez

We have more control over ourselves than anything external. If it’s something external that is affecting us, then we can do something about it. First, we can change our attitude about the situation by looking for something positive. Second, if it is possible to change the situation that is affecting us, then we can take action. Thirdly, if it isn’t possible to change the situation, then we can remove ourselves from the situation. We don’t have to feel despair if we take a proactive stand. Being proactive decreases the feeling of despair.

Magic

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Merlin, The Magician

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Magicians would never tell an audience their secrets. Magic is entertainment. A magician’s goal is to create an atmosphere of believing in something magical. Magic is an experience. We don’t want to know how a magic trick works. We’re also entertained by the skill and the artistry of a magician. The goal of a magician is to develop an illusion because  magic is really built on what we can’t see and what we can’t explain. Magic tricks seem to defy logic or the laws of physics. Why are we so fascinated with magic? We like the stimulation we get, when we’re surprised. Magic helps to loosen up rigid thinking.

How Do We See Ourselves

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Mirror Picture!

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How we see ourselves dictates how we behave. If we see ourselves as someone who can’t change, then we won’t change. If we see ourselves as someone who can make a change, then we will change. If we see ourselves unattractive, then we won’t pursue dates. But, if we see ourselves attractive, then we won’t have any problems dating others. If we see ourselves competent, then we will act competently. If we see ourselves self-assure, then we will feel self-assured around others. The point is made that self-image influences us more than we know; it influences our attitude, our feelings and our behaviors. So if we want to change how we see ourselves then we can visualize ourselves in the future doing our desired goal to build up new associations, new feelings to help motivate us to that end.

Remodel

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Brompheniramine Model

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Over the years we have accumulated experiences. And over the years we have accumulated generalizations about those experiences. Generalizations can be helpful and they can be harmful. Generalizations are our filters we look through to make sense out of the world. But some of our generalizations can skew our perceptions on how we see things. Change can be difficult if we have certain generalizations that hinder us from making the effort to change. This means we have to change our generalizations if we want to make change easier. Change doesn’t have to be a difficult prospect. The difficulty of change is not letting go of old generalizations, which are stopping us from doing what is necessary for change to take place.

Just Take A Risk

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—One Giant Leap For Man

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“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” ~ T.S. Eliot

If we look back on our lives, we will see over the years what moved us ahead from where we were before. Those times were the life changing events for us. We forget sometimes that if we want to get ahead, we got to take some risks. Those of us who are afraid to take risks fear either physical harm or ego bruising. But in terms of getting ahead in life, we more likely fear getting our egos crushed than getting physically injured.  So if our ego is afraid of failure, then not risking is inevitable. Failure is only a feedback. Failure can only be failure if we see it as a defeat. Would we rather see our failure as our defeat, or would we see our failure as our feedback—it’s our choice?  If we see failures as feedback, then we can use our feedback as clues to make corrections or adjustments to our behaviors.

 

Our Purpose and Our Feelings

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My old path.
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Sometimes we put our feelings ahead of our purpose. Our feelings can be a distraction if we’re not too careful. Sometimes we find ourselves not doing what we set out to do because of our feelings. They’ll always be distractions in our lives. We have to accept that so we don’t have to be pull down by them, but continue to stay on track of our purpose. It is useful to constantly remind ourselves about why we’re doing what we set ourselves to do. Our purpose is the driving force to what we do not our feelings. Our feelings aren’t reliable because they’re always fading in and fading out.

We Can Reach

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.reaching.

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We ought not allow ourselves to overreact to situation that is out of our control. This is difficult to do if you don’t know how not to overreact with emotions. We have limits and we ought to recognize that we do have them and take a break from a difficult situation if it’s all possible. Instead, look for things that we can control and work on that. Things that are out of our reach, we must accept that we can’t reach, but things we can reach, we reach.

Time, Effort, Progress

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Earth Sapphire Progress Picture-3 16-july-2011
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Progress is made when we put in the time.  Progress is made when we do what is important first. It’s always nice to look back on how much progress we have made on something. Progress means that we are moving towards our goal. We are getting closer to finishing the race. Progress is self-improvement, knowing that we have done sometimes we hold dear to our hearts. We experience a feeling of accomplishment when we work so hard to achieve. We have fallen many times, but we have gotten back up, because it takes getting back up and never giving up on our dreams.

Unpleasantness of Life

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IMG_1548.JPG

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The unpleasantness of life is always inevitable.  The unpleasantness of life is unavoidable. This is part of life. Life doesn’t need to be defined by unpleasant events. However, we have the power to look differently at unpleasant events. We can look for something good out of something that’s unpleasant.  An unpleasant event can feel uncomfortable. Nonetheless, we do have a choice on how we feel because our feelings are done by us. We can feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation.

Ask The Question

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Wrong Way Go Back
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We can only do our best. When we’re confused about something we can always ask someone who knows. Sometimes it is more than a burden to wonder if we’re doing something correctly. We ought not hesitate in asking for help or have a question about something. It’s better for that other person to be irritated with us asking a lot of questions than to find out six months later that we’ve done it the wrong way. Six months of clean up isn’t fun. Growth and learning can get painful and stressful at times.  We won’t always get it right all the time.