Ericksonian Principles

Purpose and Satisfaction

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Dogs and Owners

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It is nice to feel a sense of purpose and satisfaction on the work we have done. When we experience this, we don’t feel the need to impress someone to boost our egos. Our work is the extent of our expression. We tell others not some much to impress, but we tell others about our work, because we’re excited to share about what we do. And others are happy to hear what we’ve done with our time. It is nice to share ideas and share new discoveries to others who are interested in listening to us.

It’s Okay To Give Yourself Permission To Do

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Vintage Garden

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It’s okay to give ourselves permission to do what we want to do. Even though the things we want to do are difficult, we can give ourselves permission to go ahead and do them anyway. Once we give ourselves permission to do what we want to do. Our doubts won’t enter into the picture then we will began to develop a labor of love. A love that that will grow inside of us. We will eventually have a feeling of satisfaction when we’re done thus an anticipation of doing it again. We won’t hesitate to be willing to do more and more each day because we don’t mind it because it’s our labor of love.

It Is Up To You

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DSCN8171
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We aren’t forced to do anything we want to do. We can pick and choose what we want to do in our lives. We all have responsibilities. But we still can choose what path we want our life to go. We all have our own difficult paths we must follow for us to grow. When we find our path, it doesn’t mean it get easier. We might as well go on the road that’s meant for us, because the road that isn’t meant for us is going to be just as hard.  There will be some highs and some lows along the way as much as expected. Therefore, we might as well take the path that is unique to us to find out how we’re tide to the universe and to find out more about ourselves.

Making It Feel More Real

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Identity

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When we begin to make changes in our lives or start a new project, the feeling of resistance is just around the corner. In order for us to start the process, there are the preliminary things that we must to do first. Because the preliminary and the mundane stuff are boring, we want to skip over them to start the exciting part of the process first.  However, the mundane stuff is really the foundation to get a project going or to start a change. We know this but it’s easy to ignore. But if we ignore this part of the process, then we’re domed to failure. We will fail because it hasn’t become real to us.  Its laying a foundation down, learning the basic and doing our research for it to feel real to us.

When Saying Goodbye

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Goodbye Summer 2011

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Saying goodbye is hard to do when we know it’s indefinite. When saying goodbye, seems final, we’re still left with good memories of that person. Our memory of them can be our treasure. We may have kept pictures of them, recording of their voice, and the feeling of them we use to get while in their presence. These things can aid us in eliciting good memories of them in happy times.  Now these memories are incorporated in us. They are a part of us forever. The memory of that person never dies. We take it wherever we go. When we think of that person, we relive the experiences we had with that person.

Keep Your Eye On The Ball

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Eye on the Ball

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When we keep our eyes on the ball, we stay focused. Our attention is only on what we’re doing at that moment. Distractions only bounce off us. Our minds are sharp and are ready to cut through to get to the bottom of what we suppose to do to get things going. We’re no longer focused on ourselves but on what we’re doing. We’re no longer looking at our watches wondering how much time we have left to start a project, instead, we’re looking at our watch wondering how much time we have left to finish the project. We no longer are preoccupied with whether we can do sometime. Instead, we’re preoccupied on what to do next to make it work.

Completing Things

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unfinished project

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Completing something is like saying goodbye to a person or ending a relationship.  We don’t want to end it; we want to drag it as long as possible. But closure is very important. It’s hard to move on to doing something else when there is no closure. Completing things can lead us to the next thing we want to do. Completing things are a step forward and not a step backward. When we leave projects unfinished, it’s a step backwards because they’re draining the energy out of us. Energy we cannot afford to waste, but to help us to complete our projects.  We need our attention on what are in front us, our projects not on unfinished project, which are behind us, which we cannot see.

Change Takes Time and Work

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change
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Change takes time and hard work. Sometimes we want change to occur immediately. And we get impatient with ourselves when we see that change is harder than we think. We need to be patient with ourselves when we do slack or procrastinate. We needn’t get so hard on ourselves. But allow ourselves time to get used to the process of change. Change requires us to think differently than we did before. Change replaces the old behaviors with new behavior within the process of change. Struggling is okay as long as we continue to struggle for change. Sometimes fear and even doubt can be a motivating factor for changes to occur. Sometimes it is harder to make a change because we have net under us to catch us. So let us feel a little discomfort and take courage for change.

On Being Deliberate

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john_cage_blue_print

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What does it means to be deliberate? Being deliberate means to take action with intent.  If we want to get something done, we have to be deliberate in our behaviors.  When learning something new we’re forced to be deliberate in our actions. Learning requires us to pay attention or be more aware about what we’re doing while we’re learning.  Being deliberate is a conscious act we must do when we want control back into our lives. We’re the pilots of our lives; we’re responsible for where we want to take our life. Being deliberate is about thinking ahead on what we want to do and making a plan up and following the specific things that the plan has laid out for to do.

Holiday

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tree decoration

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Holidays can be difficult for some of us who have lost a loved-one or has no family around. The holiday seasons is where most of us greet and meet loved-ones and share with one another our love and affection through giving.This is the time some of us want to avoid family because of past differences, disagreements and hard feelings; indeed avoidance is justified.  However, it leaves some of us alone and feeling lonely. Some of us don’t have to be alone, but being around people who care about us. Or, we can treat ourselves for a holiday dinner or we can even do volunteer work. Volunteering is good for the soul because we’re expressing freely ourselves.

Accepting Mistakes

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room

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If we want to grow, we must learn to accept our mistakes.  Accepting our mistakes means to leave them in the past. Mistakes are made so we can learn from them and move on. If we’re going over and over in our heads about a mistake we’ve made, then we haven’t let go.  Beating ourselves on the head with our mistakes isn’t as useful as learning from our mistakes. Some of us go so far as to not do anything because we’re afraid we will make a mistake. Mistakes can tell us which way to go towards meeting our goal.

Digging Deeper

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Archeological dig continues to discover new artifacts on USACE construction site in Wiesbaden

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Sometimes we need to dig a little deeper to learn about ourselves. It is easier to stay on the surface of things than to dig deeper. Digging deeper is about stopping for a moment and paying closer attention to our behaviors, our thinking and our feelings. It is easier to be on autopilot and not dig. But if we continue on autopilot, we continue to stay unchanged in our ways without an understanding of self. It is about knowing “thyself”. It is learning about why we feel a certain way in one situation and not feel a certain way in another. Learning about the self is a humbling and a wonderful experience.

Taking Control Of Our Life

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Direction

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For the most part, we can take control of our lives when it’s necessary. We don’t have to wait for something to happen to us for us to take control of our lives. But sometimes something has to happen to us until we consider taking charge.  If we want to move our life into a different path, then we must start thinking about what are the tasks that we need to do for our paths to begin changing in our lives. This life is the only thing we got. We might as well take our lives as far as we can and live our lives to the fullest in our own unique way that will bring us treasure of experiences.

It’s Not Too Late

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Life goals

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Although, it is nearing the end of the year, it’s never too late to start turning our dreams into something real.  In a way if we start now, we can have a head start before the New Year begins. If we reframe it that way, then we have given ourselves another opportunity to make up for the lost time and not fret over what we haven’t done in the past 11 months. So let us start planning what we need to do to get things started and set goals on what we can do specially to make it happen. It’s better late than never.

Giving Thanks

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steaming turkey

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Today is Thanksgiving. Every year in November we gather together to take part in a tradition we hold dear. We gather together with family to reflect on the things that we’re thankful for. We’re thankful for our families. We’re thankful for our health. We’re thankful for our life. Traditions help to create an atmosphere. It helps us get our minds into the frame that makes the events meaningful in our lives. Today is the day we celebrate by eating prepared cooked meals with those we care about.

Going Back To Our Roots

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Childhood

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Going back to our roots doesn’t necessarily mean digging up our genealogy. It could means just looking back to our earlier learnings.  For example, reminiscing about the music we once grew up with. Music can easily bring us back to that time of our lives when things were simple and innocent. It can take us back to a time where we didn’t have a care in the world because it was our parents’ job to worry about things. We were urged to be children and play outside and be adventuresome and learn about our surroundings that we didn’t understand. As children our world was new and we experienced everything thoroughly. Only if we experience a little of that as adult, we would be less cynical about our world.

We Will Find A Way

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Get Lost
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Life is challenging when we have an obstacle to get through. It’s not easy to get through obstacles. Anything that moves has to go through obstacles. If we make the obstacle smaller in our minds than it may be easier to conquer through it. We will find a way through it, if we see an obstacle as a challenge and not a burden. We can learn all kinds of lessons. We have a choice in our response to obstacles- we either act or react. It’s better to be proactive than be reactive, because there’s a feeling of control. We like to feel control when confronted by obstacles in our lives. So if we’re proactive, we can plan how best to deal with life challenges.

Moving On

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Seasons

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Moving on is about leaving the past behind and looking to the future. What is it that we’re going to do tomorrow that’s different from what we have done in the past? Moving on is about transitioning from the old to the new. A transitioning period might be leaving one job and pursuing a totally different job. A transitioning might be moving from one state to another. Moving on is about starting all over and experiencing everything anew. Learning our way around town, finding the nearest places to shop, and meeting and greeting new neighbors. Learning to master a new task is also a transitional period and a sign of moving on.

We are Stronger Than We Think

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Lifting

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We have more strength than we know. Milton Erickson always focused on what we can do than focus on what we can’t do. He reminded his subjects to tap into their own resources. He observed that we can do what we want to do if we focus and concentrate on one idea that can make a difference. He believed that the past can only be educational that can’t be changed. He always reoriented his subject to the future. He also enjoyed using humor, because he thought we shouldn’t take life so seriously. He took every opportunity to learn something new. He was never tired of learning. Through his bouts with polio, he never took life for granted, but encouraged his subjects to celebrate life and to accept the reality as is. He was an action man because he knew from his experience that action is really the only way to go, if we want to learn something new that we can use for the rest of our lives and to enrich our lives.

Thought and Behavior Patterns

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w08p - Breaking the Pattern
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To make a change means that we have to get out of our old patterns. After we develop a routine, it later becomes a pattern. And our patterns becomes second nature to us. Behaviors are made up of patterns we do everyday. We have our routines when we get ready for work in the morning. We have our routines when we get ready for dinner. We have our routines when we’re at work. We depend a lot on our routines. If we want to make a change, then we must alter our routine or pattern. This is difficult to do because we rely so much on behavioral patterns. Not only we got to alter our behavior patterns, we also got to alter our thought patterns.