Ericksonian Principles

Life Isn’t As Serious As You Think

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“Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

If we take life as it is and accept things as they are, then we can better take on the day. But if we keep our expectations high on how we think the world should work, then we will never be satisfied and we will always be disappointed. But if we meet people as they are, then we will meet interesting people. Life is full with different experiences that everyone participates in. Our memories are shadows of our experiences that we hold dear.

The Way We Perceive It

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escher

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No one can perceive things in a 360 degree. We will never see the whole picture. What we perceive will always be through our filters. Our filters are our culture, our education and our background. That means each and every one of us brings in a unique perspective. So if we see someone succeeding far greater than the rest of us, then we know that person has found a way to expand his or her perception. For us to be successful in life we don’t have to see everything, but we can educate ourselves so we can widen our perception. Once our perception is widened then we can see that the choices are more available to us.

 

 

When Change Is Needed

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Ponce Inlet Lighthouse
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Change is needed when we don’t have a purpose. Change is needed when we don’t have any direction. Change is needed when we don’t have a plan. Change is needed when we don’t change our approach. Change is needed with when we’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. Change is needed when we’re bore with our lives. Change is needed when we blame others for our misfortune. Change is needed when we sit idle without a goal to shoot for. Change is needed when we no longer have meaning in our life. Change is needed when we think the other person should change. Change is needed if we do more of the same without a positive outcome.

 

 

Endurance Makes Me Stronger

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Endurance
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What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Sometimes we back down on something that challenges us, because we’re afraid that it may harm us somehow. We’re afraid we may not endure the physical or the mental pain. We’re afraid we may react to a challenge as though it’s going to physically harm us even when it’s a mental challenge. If we take on the challenges of life, then we may have the opportunity to strengthen ourselves so we can be better prepare to take on the next challenge. Sometimes we give up too soon just before we get so close to achieving our goal. If we can just endure a little bit at a time, then we will have more of a chance to fulfill our dreams.

Doubt and Beliefs

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Which Came First, The Chicken or The Egg?
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Just like the chicken or the egg, what came first— doubt or belief about what we can’t do? When we have doubts in our abilities we fuel the belief that we can’t do something. If we believe we can’t do this or that, then it becomes true. If we let doubt fill our minds, then there will be no room to see any possibility for achievement.  It is normal to have some doubts but too much of it is distracting. Doubt looks only at our limitations while courage looks only at opportunities to see beyond our limitations. In courage, we can do things in spite of our doubts; that’s what builds confidence. We don’t have to keep from doing something, when we don’t really know if we can. Why not we find out and are pleased either way.

 

Doesn’t Matter What Others Think?

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at the computer
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” ~ Lao Tzu

When we are focused too much on what others think about us, we lose focus on what we want in life and what’s best for us. Sometimes we want to know what others are thinking because we want to belong to something and want to feel accepted. But the best people who will support us are those who have the same desires and interests that we have because they know the struggle, the benefits and most of all like what we’re doing. It would be foolish for us to wonder what others think who doesn’t have the same interest. We don’t need the support of others who don’t know anything about what we’re trying to accomplish.

 

Writing Your Thoughts Down

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365.238 - "Dear Journal..."
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Writing our thoughts down can be a useful tool to find out how we think and what we’re thinking about at the time. If we want to know something about ourselves, then we can start a journal. Journaling can help us through emotional conflicts and also it can help us process things that we may find difficult to process. Journaling can be a therapeutic experience. There are some thoughts we hold private but even those thoughts can be written down as well. Sometimes we hold onto our thoughts so tightly that it becomes our personality. When we write down our thoughts, we become more objective because we can look back and read what we have written and make a better assessment.

When Inspiration Is A No Show

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Clouds and Sun rays

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We get frustrated when inspiration doesn’t come when needed. Instead, we must wait until it hit us. When inspiration does hit us, it means our minds are beginning to open up to new ideas. Inspiration stimulates ideas into our minds. If we just keep the inspiration in the forefront of our minds, then we can use it to motivate us enough to make it into something real. It is not always easy for an idea in our heads to become something real, at least something that could be a major change. We need not give up on our inspirations. Maybe there is a reason why we get them. We ought to pay attention and not take them for granted and really see if they are worth investigating.

Finding Satisfaction In What We Do

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presenting
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Whatever we do we need to find satisfaction. Not everything we do will make us satisfied. Some parts of the work we do will be satisfying while other parts won’t be. This is how life is. To know what’s satisfying to us, we must experience what’s unsatisfying. Since we’re unique, what makes a part of the work satisfying to one person doesn’t mean it is satisfying to the other.  This is our own journey to discover what part of our work will be satisfying to us. Once we find what is satisfying, then we will have something to look forward to doing and that’s motivating.

 

Listening, Silence and Communication

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Listen to your Mother - LA
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When we don’t know what to say or do, then it’s okay to be silent, because we can learn a lot just by listening. Being silent doesn’t mean we’re passive participants instead we’re active listeners. We’re listening to the other individual through our filters. Our filters are our culture, our background, etc. Even the one who is speaking is also listening to his or her voice. Communication is very important to us. Communication tells a lot about an individual and about us. Verbal is one way of communicating, but we communicate nonverbally such as our tone(how we speak) and our body language are some of the telltale signs.

How Is Your Resolutions So Far

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Ticking time...

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Believe or not, we are almost done with January. Those of us who haven’t started with resolutions, it’s not too late to start now. Because before we know it, five more months would have been passed without anything done. The feeling of regret that we didn’t do anything in six months ago, isn’t a nice feeling especially when we see that half the year has gone already and we look back to see that no progress has not been made during that time.  Time is our most valuable commodity because once it’s lost we can never get it back. So let us start now because February is a short month. And when we begin to see March, we can look back on the progress we have been making in February, and wish that we could’ve done this sooner.

Progress

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Practice Makes Progress
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When we do make some personal progress in our lives, we ought to celebrate. Making progress is a milestone especially if the work is difficult and slow. It requires patience and constant persistence to continue doing difficult work. There are times when every part of our body doesn’t want to do anything but to avoid the work all together. And there are times when we do enjoy every second of our time doing the work. So it is time to celebrate because hard work should be encouraged not discouraged. We are made to make progress. One of the benefits of progress is improving the quality of our lives.

 

Doing Something Now Saves Time

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Suzanne, Mastodon Peak, Cholla cactus garden Joshua Tree

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It is easy to say we are going to do something or we need to do something, than to do it. But when we see that we haven’t done anything about it in two weeks or longer, and then we won’t do it at all. We find ourselves thinking about doing which is a waste of thinking because we could be working on it now. We will need our thinking for problem solving as we’re working and as we’re learning about the work. If we continue thinking about it without doing nothing, then we make the task seems unattainable to do. The time now is what we have because tomorrow isn’t always guaranteed.

When Freedom Ring

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Statue of Liberty

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When we are in control of our destiny, we feel a sense of freedom. And on the other side of freedom is responsibility. We need both freedom and responsibility in our lives to keep balanced. We can’t have one without the other. If we have too much freedom, nothing will get done but on the other hand if we only do, do and do then we stop being. Freedom allows us to be while we do what we’re required to do in our own way and made by our own decisions. We do the things we do within our values and that’s what’s important.

 

Relax, Be Yourself

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Relaxing in Jardin du Luxembourg
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“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” ~Chinese Proverb

Indeed we create our own tension because we think we ought to be a certain way. Acceptance is important when it comes to our self. We need not try to be someone we’re not but be what we already are. Once we accept and feel comfortable in our own skin then we can give ourselves permission to grow and expand into being our best self. So let us relax being who we are instead of creating tension to be someone we’re not.

 

 

Control

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Controlling external events won’t change the way we feel. It is an illusion. Because we feel out of control doesn’t mean we are. It’s those thoughts in our head that increases our anxiety that can make us feel out of control. So we have this need within us to control external events around us to feel again in control. We use various behaviors to get the feeling of control back into our lives. If we expect others to behave a certain way all the time, then we set ourselves up for disappointment.  It is better to change the way we think and lowering our expectations can help with this. We can also work on what thoughts we’re saying to ourselves that make us feel like we’re out of control.

 

Thinking And Doing

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Get Lost
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We all know that we got to think things through before we proceed. But sometime we over think something that we get paralysis from it so we don’t do anything at all. It’s best to think and do. Thinking and doing help us to find out what works and what doesn’t work. We need to use our hand and our wit to find a way to make something work, to solve problems, and to find creativity. We don’t want to just do and not think at all because then we will find ourselves repeating the same thing expecting a different outcome. Instead of doing the same thing over and over again, we can use our thinking to find another way that might work.

Small Easy Tasks

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Lego
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Sometimes we get so frustrated with ourselves when we want to make a change but don’t follow through.  When it comes to change, following through is the hardest part because of the belief in our minds that we can’t do it or it’s too difficult or I’m too tired or I don’t have time. It is these beliefs are what stop us from going through with the change in our life. For change to happen certain tasks are require of us to do. If we break down the task in small easy tasks, then they can be a lot easier to carry out.

 

 

Dedicated To A Purpose

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Stone Carver

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We all have a purpose. Some of us don’t know what that purpose is in our life. If we find purpose in our life, then can commit to it and be dedicated. We find meaning in our purpose. Since we are all unique people, we all have different purposes. We enrich one another through our differences and diversity. When we have a purpose, we want to be dedicated. When we have a purpose, we don’t mind spending the extra time it sometimes takes to do the work. There is a satisfaction or a labor of love when there is a purpose and meaning to the work we do.  The more we put in the more we get out of it.

 

Imagination

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Imagination Takes Over (47 de 52 y 1/2)

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Nothing can trouble you but your own imagination. ~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Our imagination is very powerful. Our imagination can overwhelm us. But we tend to forget that we can use our imagination to comfort ourselves in time of sorrow. We can use our imagination when we are looking for a solution. We can use our imagination to draw on our strength to get through something difficult. When we begin to look for positive images we must give ourselves time for the image to fill our whole mind and body. Instead of replaying negative images, replay positive images until we begin to experience it through our entire body.