Ericksonian Principles

When We Don’t Believe In Ourselves

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(Too much) Thinking
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When we don’t believe in ourselves, we come up with excuses to keep from taking the steps to use our abilities. But, if we have the ability to think, plan and execute, that’s all we need to believe in ourselves. We do think, plan and execute everyday. If we get up every morning, take a shower, bush our teeth, comb our hair and eat breakfast before we’re off to work, then that’s executing a plan. At some point we had to think about what we were going to do for the next day, then it became second nature.  When we are presented to something new, it just takes more thinking, more planning and more time to execute.  We aren’t going to get it right the first time.  Believing in ourselves means we realize that we have always been equipped to think, plan and execute; it is in our nature to do so.

 

 

Sometimes We Need To Be Reminded

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IMG_6262

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Sometimes we need to be reminded that we are unique people. Sometimes we need to be reminded that just for being alive we have resources within us to use. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we have choices. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we have the power to change. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we have the freedom to change our minds. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we can enjoy life. Sometimes we need to be reminded that life is a place of learning and sharing in that journey together. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we are perfectly human and that humans make mistakes all the time.

Make Things Fun

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1 of 2 Two delightful girls give thumbs up - Runners at 1st Annual Rock 2 Rock 5 Mile Fun Run
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It is better to use the time we have rather than wasting it on frivolous things that are design to distract us from what we supposed to be doing.  A part of us wants to rebel and that part needs to be in check. We don’t want be driven by the rebellious part of ourselves; we surely will not get anywhere. It’s all right to have the pleasure of spending time doing something else besides always working on something. But after the time is up, we can return to what we’re doing. What we’re doing can be pleasurable as well; it doesn’t have to be unpleasant. We got to make things fun and to look forward to doing the work.

 

Trying Anything New

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Psychedelic Paint Plate
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“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”  Albert Einstein

How can we learn, if we never make a mistake? Fear of making a mistake can stop us from trying anything new. Mistakes are only feedback to help us learn to do the new thing better each time. For us to acquire a new skill, we must practice so we can continue to make improvements. Improvement is from the feedback of all the mistakes we have made. This is how we give ourselves some room to grow because if we’re afraid to make mistakes, then we won’t consider the possibility of doing anything new. When giving ourselves room to grow, we’re accepting everything about us including our mistakes and to know that we’re just learning our way through life.

Pressure Helps

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Pressure Gauge
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Sometimes we need pressure to get us going on something. Pressures are only meant for us to get us started, to maintain the work and to complete the work. Deadlines can evoke pressure. But too much pressures or having constant pressure isn’t good for the body or the mind for that matter. But pressure has its useful function as long as it’s done right. As we have all experienced, that after we have completed something, the feeling of pressure decreases. If we feel we’re not working on something that we should be working on, then it is time for us to create pressure of some kind to move things forward in a positive way.

 

Without Overwhelm Feelings

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Picture Frame
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It can feel overwhelming when we see how much we got to get done to reach our goal. The overwhelming feeling we get is really from the picture we make inside our head of our project. This is one of the reasons why we procrastinate because enormity of the project we make in our head. Instead we can shrink down the picture and fragment the picture into pieces of the project so we can start doing the work without overwhelming feelings. Our goals can be hard but it also should be enjoyed as well. We must find some joy and satisfaction in what we’re doing so we can go through parts that will be difficult.

Nearing The End Of Winter

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Spring

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Today is March 1st. This is a time to start thinking about Spring. Spring brings rain and flowers and ants. Springtime means the days are getting longer and the clocks are sprung forward an hour. Spring is the time to do yard and gardening work. Spring is the time to do spring-cleaning and the time to put away winter cloths. Spring is a metaphor of rebirth and renewal. Green is the symbol of growth. Birds are beginning to return. Squirrels are happy. Oh, the smells of blooming flowers and fresh-cut grass. Those days are returning soon.

 

When Dreams Don’t Come True

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Dream
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Not every one of our dreams will come true, is a reality we must face.  All of our dreams aren’t meant to come true but some of them will. A dream is our hope to satisfy something in our lives. A dream is something we think about now to get us motivated.  A dream is the stuff that makes things real in our future. Dreams let us work things out in our head before we make them real. A dream helps us to consider the possibility that something can become real.  Some of our dreams should stay dreams and not made real.

 

A Shift In The Way We Look

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look downstairs into stairwell whirl
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Sometimes we just got to look at a problem differently for us to better handle it. It does us no good to look at the problem the same way but only see it as something we can’t manage. Just a shift in the way we look at it can help us see things that seemed at the time impossible to solve. We are able to do; we just have to remove the blinds away from our eyes. Things weren’t hidden from us; we just didn’t know what and where to look.  We don’t have to look very far for our treasure, because we all possess it. We just got to learn how to use it.

 

A Rock and A Hard Place

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Between A Rock And A Hard Place
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When we’re between a rock and a hard place, we find ourselves feeling stuck.  When this happens, it is time to wait and see. Things seem to work themselves out if we wait until an opportunity presents itself for us to take. Everything is in constant change; nothing stays the same. We just have to wait until something comes up that will help us get ourselves unstuck and move on with our lives.  Opportunity will come knocking at our door, if we’re home to answer it.

 

The Last Week Of February

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Calendario Sí Se Puede 2013. Marzo

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It is hard to believe that we are fast approaching March. So far we’ve spent almost two months in the year 2013 and have 10 more months to go. For those of us who haven’t started a resolution and still wants to make a change, it isn’t too late. We’re just only two months behind. If we start it now, then by the end of the year, it won’t make much of a difference. It won’t make of a difference because then we’ve making changes for 10 great months. Our only regret is that we should have started sooner but it’s better late than never. Only if we just decide and do it when things begin to start happening.

Step Forward Or Step Back

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2012 World's Largest Swimming Lesson
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You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety. ~ Abraham Maslow

Risk and safety are the two things that as human we’ll experience throughout of our lifetime. This is our test to see how far we go in our life. There is always a risk when we step forward. Safety is our basic instinct for self-preservation. So it is normal to have some trepidations when we step forward into uncharted territory. This was started when we took our first step, when we first step into a pool for the first time for swimming lessons, when we first sat in the driver’s seat of a car for driving lessons, etc. There will always be a first time for something throughout our life that we can learn from each time we move through life experiences.

Be Most Effective

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Vacation
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For us to be most effective in our work, we must take care of ourselves. It’s important that we rest to renew our energy. Sometimes we need to get away from it all so we can rekindle our spirit and clear our mind. We’re no good when we are tired and stressed out. Learning something different from what we do daily can be useful to keep our mind sharp and physical exercise can get everything circulating in our body. Eating healthy is useful as well in supporting health.

Memories Are The Storehouses

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Memory game
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We have good memories and bad memories. We have the tendency to focus on our bad memories. These memories can be triggered by a smell, an image, or a sound. The same things can trigger good memories. But we seemed to be conditioned to focus on the unpleasant memories, which can create negative feelings that aren’t good for our psyche. Our memories are the storehouses of our experiences. We retrieve memories everyday to help us function in the world. We can recall a funny joke and laugh. Our memories can help us find direction. We’re so conditioned that we can recall something second nature. Our memories do so much more than we think.

Only Your Actions

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Spherical ball bearings @ 100 innovationer @ Tekniska Museet
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“You cannot control the results, only your actions.” ― Allan Lokos

The only power we have is from our actions. Trying to control something or someone that doesn’t have any bearing on us is a waste of our time and energy.  Even if we study the behaviors of others and find out what makes them tick, we still can’t steer their behaviors or responses to the way we think they should be.  The event may make us feel bad, but if we do something constructive to help us to go through the bad feeling, then maybe it will dissipate.  Just by leaving an unpleasant event can begin to deescalate the negative feelings we are experiencing.

 

 

Finding Time

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To-do list book.
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When we find ourselves not working on a project, because we say to ourselves, “I don’t have the time,” then it is time to make the time.  We can’t afford to wait for a moment or for the right time to start a project, because we will wait for it for a long time. Instead, we just got to push other things aside to create a moment where we can do what we need to do to start and complete the project. While we’re driving in to work, there is time we can use to think about the project. While waiting in the checkout line, we can write some ideas down. Even while taking a shower we can problem-solve. We just have to find creative ways to use our time.

 

Set Backs

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Back from DST
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A set back doesn’t mean we have failed. A set back can mean that we need to try another approach. A set back is only a feedback to us that what we’re doing isn’t working. A set back is temporary and so is the disappointment that comes with it. We learn more when there is a set back than if we didn’t have a set back.  A set back is also a temporary delay before a triumph.  It is an inevitable victory that awaits us if we continue to strive and to never give up on the dream.

 

Sometimes It Rains And Sometimes It Doesn’t

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rain

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“Life is much better if sometimes it rains and sometimes it doesn’t.” ~ Milton Erickson

If we get sunshine everyday, we won’t appreciate the sun. If everything we do comes easy, we will never feel a satisfaction of doing hard work. Just as there are constant changes in the weather, there are changes in our lives. We want things to go smoothly every time. But there will always be delays, distractions and challenges for us to go through. This is part of life. For us to appreciate sunny days, it must rain. For us to appreciate our health, sometimes we catch a cold.  Life is not all negatives or all positives, but life has both negatives and positives. The negative experiences help us to grow while the positive experiences help us to experience and appreciate the joys of life in a meaningful way.

Live A Happy Life, Then Tie It To A Goal

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Skyscraper Pass

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” − Albert Einstein

It is not up to others to make us happy. No one can completely satisfy another. No one can fill in a void of another. It is nice to have things. But nice things can’t fulfill us. We’re excited when we first purchase something, but sooner or later the novelty wears off. If we want to move beyond where we are in our life, then we have to set a goal. Goals are useful because it forces us to be specific on exactly we need to do to get ahead. A goal is define as an aim and a purpose.  All of us want to have a purpose in life, because it becomes meaningful to us and that we have something to aim for to where we want to go.

It’s Not As Hard…

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The white blues
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“It’s not as hard as I always think it’s going to be.”

We don’t have to run away from difficult work. Even when we find out that the work is difficult, it’s not impossible to carry it out. We all have experienced thinking how difficult the work is going to be, but when we actually do the work it is not as difficult as we made it out to be. It’s just a feeling of dread we get when we begin a new task. We know the feeling we get is just that a feeling. And the feelings are not long lasting, which is a good thing in this situation. When work is hard we can also see as a challenge and an opportunity for growth. When we look at this way, we don’t mind, therefore, our minds are focused on the task itself.