Ericksonian Principles

Revisiting Our Motives

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Thinking RFID
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Sometimes, we do things so automatically that we forget about our intentions for doing them in the first place or reasoning behind them.  It is good to revisit our motivations or reasoning behind our behaviors. If we think the motives of our behaviors are reasonable, then we can continue do them so long as they are useful and constructive. But if they aren’t useful to what we’re trying to achieve, then we can discontinue using the behaviors and replace them with something else that are useful. Knowing about our motives of our behaviors can give us a clearer picture and insight into what direction we want to take next. It is good to make adjustments along the way.

 

With A Little Encouragement

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Inspire
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Getting a little encouragement from others goes a long way when we’re in the state of self-doubt. Self-doubt has nothing to do with our abilities. Self-doubt is the belief that we don’t have the ability to do what we want to do. When we’re in the state of self-doubt, we’re looking only at what we’re lacking instead of looking at what we can do to learn and grow into what we desire. Being in the state of self-doubt only keeps us away from the many tasks that are required of us for growth to take place. And getting positive reinforcements from others is the difference that makes the difference.

A Participant Or A Sideliner

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We don’t have to live our lives on the sideline when we’re in charge of making our own decisions. Sideline is a time for vicariously watching and learning from others. After a time watching participants, we then begin to model them. But later we begin to claim our own sound, our own voice by remodeling our own way that’s uniquely ours. Modeling another is an external process while remodeling is more of an internal process that starts from inside out. Remodeling allows us to interpret our learning based on our background and our unique view of the world. So the more we’re a participant of this world the more we’re becoming ourselves and expressing uniquely to the world.

Unfilled Vacancy

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afro2019 VOID
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“When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

All of us have a void in our lives that we wish to fill. However, we will never be able to fill it. Perhaps, we think another person can fill what we think is missing in our live. The void is something we acquired while growing up. But what we didn’t get in our childhood we can give to someone who needs it. We don’t have to try to recreate our past for us to fill in the void. When we give to others in need, we stop thinking about ourselves.  We make the others’ needs greater than our own. Everyone wants to be and feel connected to something.

 

 

Growth and Flexibility

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flexible fish

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For us to grow, we must be flexible. For us to be flexible, we must widen our world.  There will come a time when we will need to bend a little for us to move forward. Being flexible doesn’t mean that we are doormats. It is quite the contrary, being flexible means we’re getting stronger.  Compromise is part of the process of being flexible; we have to weigh in on the pros and the cons in each situation. When we’re flexible we see things we haven’t seen before, we have more possibilities and opportunities in our live.

 

 

Use Your Own Skills

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2013 Talent Show
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If we’re not using our already existing skills, then we’re doomed to failure. If we’re very skilled at one thing, why can’t we transfer that skill into other areas of life that’s lacking? Our skill is our talent. Our talent is meant to be use because we’re good at it. Our talent is made from our personality. Everyone has a skill or a talent that is unique to him or her.  Since we’re unique individuals, there is no one who can duplicate the way we execute our talent like we do. There will never be another like us that as our path is uniquely our own. We can’t follow another person’s path but our own.

 

Two Mistakes

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Start | Finish at Madison St. at the Giro di Burnaby
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“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting.” ~ Buddha

Starting a project is one of the most difficult decision to make because we don’t know what we’re getting ourselves into. But we will never know what we’re getting ourselves into unless we start. Starting is the beginning process of discovering how things are going to unfold. Starting really means that we’re half way there. The second most difficult thing is finishing a project. We will never get the project perfect but we can make it as perfect as we can, then let it go. We must let go and move on to our next adventure and build on the experiences from our last project.

Curiosity and Opportunity

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CURIOSITY

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Curiosity is an opportunity for learning. Curiosity helps us to expand our scope of reality. Curiosity is about finding an answer to a question. Curiosity stimulates the pleasure center of our brain. We look up into the sky to wonder about this life. We want to know more about things we don’t know about. Curiosity is a form of learning about the wonders of our world. That’s when learning can be fun when we want to learn more about our world. We love mystery and experience of unveiling a mystery. Mystery stimulates our curiosity of wanting to know about the unknown.

 

Making Distinctions

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South Downs Way
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By our nature we’re always making distinctions. We live by our distinctions. We break up our day into morning, noon, afternoon and evening. We make distinctions between our left hand and our right hand.  We break our town into north, south, east and west.  We also link things together.  We try to link an idea to an event to see if it fits. We developed generalizations to help us link things together.  Generalization is linking an original idea or an image to a group of things. Sometimes, generalizations can be helpful but when we run into something different from the original idea, then it is time to regenerate a new idea.

 

 

Respect Yourself, First

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Showing respect (RIP Ku, Sept 19, 2008)

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We first have to respect ourselves before we can demand respect from others. If we disrespect ourselves, it would be difficult for us to respect others.  If we disrespect others, it would be difficult for others to respect us. Respect is about doing to others what we would like others to do to us. One of the quickest ways to anger another is to be disrespectful. And the one of the quickest ways to decrease anger in another is to be respectful. When we make an effort in helping someone, the individual will see that in our actions and to know that we’re genuine.  Respect is known by our actions.

 

Watching The Clock

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Time is Ticking Out (53 de 52 y 1/2)

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If we found ourselves focused on how much time we have left and not yet started on a goal or a task, then we’re procrastinating. Procrastination is like a thief in the night. It steals time right beneath our noses. Instead on focusing on how much time we have left, we can focus on what we need to do next. When we focus on what we need to do next, our task becomes specific and tangible. We can better handle our task when we have a clear goal on what to do next step.  When our mind is focus, then everything else will follow. We see that things are getting done. Therefore, things are coming together.

 

The Trail We Leave Behind

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Footprints in the Sand

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“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” ― Gautama Buddha

No matter how much help and advice we get, we ultimately have to save ourselves. We still have to decide alone what we have to do next in our life. We each have our own path to walk. And once we discovery our path; sometimes it is not easy to walk it. Sometimes it is not easy for everyone to walk one’s path. Sometimes, we resist walking the path we know is ours. But if we meet our path with less resistance and embrace it, then maybe our path will be easier to walk. We see clearer our path when we look back at the trail we have left.

Happiness Is The Path

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Path Pics

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“There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path.” ― Gautama Buddha

It is our attitude about life determines how we deal with life. We can be happy if we choose to be. Happiness is a state of mind. It is difficult to be in a state of happiness all the time. We must experience states of all emotions to get the full benefits of experiencing happiness. It is in our mind where happiness starts, not necessary something external. We can create an environment to help us in experiencing happiness in our live.  Since happiness resides in our mind; we can take it everywhere. If we can take happiness with us wherever we go, then we have an opportunity to positively affect others.

 

Learning Is An Opportunity

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Learning to Walk

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If we’re not familiar with a subject, then we have an opportunity to learn something about it. No one knows everything. Sure, there will always be someone smarter. But, that shouldn’t stop us from learning a thing or two about the subject. Because we’re done with school doesn’t mean we stop learning. Not only the phrase “knowledge is power” is an old cliché but it is a truism. We can use our learning to be our best unique self. We can use our learning to inspire others to be their best unique self. Learning is an opportunity for personal-growth. It is not about how smart a person is, is about learning to enrich one’s life.

 

It’s Okay To Think About Self

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We need to do a bit of thinking for ourselves. We have a storehouse of experiences and understandings that our unconscious mind can sort out for us. Nobody else can do our thinking for us. It is our job to do that for ourselves. Our experiences and understanding are unique to us in that we know what’s best for us. Thinking is about learning from our understandings and past experiences. The sort of questions we can ask ourselves are how can this understanding help me today or what can I learn from past experiences to help with this situation today?  This is about self-discovery.

Do Today What Matters Most

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Today's wallpaper

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“Every morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” ― Gautama Buddha

Today is really all we have; so we might as well use it. We can use our time today to do what’s important to us.  We get up hopefully rested to take on the day and hopefully retired from the day. Now is always the time to do what matters most. Today is our opportunity to shine and express our purpose in life. If we dislike our situation, then definitely today is a good day to start a new path. Lamenting about life difficulties will not change things, they will still be there waiting for us to make a move. When we rise up for another day, we are given another opportunity to pursue and celebrate today.

 

The Freedom In Action Breeds Happiness

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Rollerblading in action
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“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

We have control over what make us happy only if we act. We can’t wait on happiness to anoint us. We have to do something because happiness is an experience. Happiness is also a state. Happiness is something we do. If we want to change from one state into another  we must take action. The action we take is a choice we make. It is up to us to decide what action we want to pursue.  As we experience action, we’re also experience freedom. We experience our actions through the freedom of expression. The freedom of expression is our experience of happiness.

 

We Can Make A Difference

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USAG Humphreys Make A Difference Day Oct. 25, 2008

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“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

This quote from Dalai Lama refers to making a difference to change or to have an effect on the world. This can also be applied to making a difference in one’s life. We can effect change if we stand up and believe in the possibility and take the advantage of the opportunities when it presents itself.  We don’t have to just wait for something to happen; instead, we can proactively look for opportunities where others aren’t looking. We don’t have to be afraid to check things out because not every opportunity is going to be useful but we can find what opportunity will suit our situation.

 

 

Feeling Our Feelings

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Incredible colours in the lakes
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It is very important that we feel and express emotions.  Some of us have a habit of trying to think our feelings out. This won’t work. We can stop thinking of the unpleasant event that’s producing the unpleasant feelings. But for the emotions that’s still lingering, those can be expressed through writing a journal or sharing them with a listening ear.  Remember, emotions are not bad or good but they are the colors of our world.  And for us to feel the emotions of joy, happiness, contentment we have to feel the anger, sadness, guilt, shame, doubt and fears.  Without feeling the negative emotion, it is difficult to freely express the positive ones.

Self-Discovery

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How can we learn something about ourselves if we don’t push ourselves? How can know our limits if we don’t push ourselves? We all have experienced going through difficulties in the past and still survived. We’re stronger than we think. It is through our past experiences we’re made to be stronger.  As long as we’re still alive, we will continue to have the opportunities to learn something about ourselves. Self-discovery helps us to gain some understandings about our interactions with others and ourselves. “Don’t give up your faults…because you’re going to need them to understand your spouse’s,” Milton Erickson.