Ericksonian Principles

When Do We Start

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here today.....
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Have we really started on what we set out to do? Or are we still thinking about what are the next steps? How long do we continue thinking about what’s the next thing to do? If we just set up an agenda for the week and make it our goal to complete it by the end of the week, then we will have laid a foundation for the next week. When we look back at the end of year, we will see that we have accomplished many things. What we do now will be our foundation to what we build upon tomorrow. Each day is a gift and an opportunity to focus on the present. Tomorrow is only imagined, but today we’re in the here and now.

 

Go With The Flow

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Go with the Flow

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Sometimes, we got to go with flow instead of resisting. Sometimes, we resist because we don’t want to deal with uncomfortable feelings. Sometimes, we resist because we feel uncomfortable going into unfamiliar territory. Sometimes, we resist because we feel uncertain about ourselves. Sometimes, we resist because we want to know everything before we start. But if we go with the flow, then things usually work themselves out. We just have to let things happen around us and instead trying to control what we think we need to control.

Understanding Is Our Reward For Learning

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Chalkboard, City Hall, Chicago

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For us to understand, we must be willing to learn. As long as we’re alive, we will continue to learn about something. There are things we choose not to learn, because we think it is too difficult to learn. Most of what we’ve learned was difficult at first to comprehend, but we plowed through and learned it. Patience is the key to learning. We must allow ourselves to learn at our own pace and not the pace of others. Some of us are quick learner while others are slow learner. We have different speeds when it comes to learning. We don’t have to feel left behind when it comes to learning. There will always be an opportunity to exercise the mind. When we learn something new, we experience a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that will always be a part of us.

 

Plan, Then Execute Intelligently

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Thinking

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“The idle mind knows not what it wants.” ~Ennius

In other words the idle mind is basically daydreaming and not really consciously thinking about what to do next. We ought to deliberately think about our next course of action. Our mind is what moves our body and not our feelings. We got to make an intelligent plan and then execute without feeling.  Feelings usually follow initially after the action has taken place. If we sat idle waiting for a feeling to move us into action, we will be sitting for a long time. That’s why it is important to plan and execute intelligently and consciously.

The Right Direction

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The Fighting Cocks - pub in Moseley - Wind direction

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“If you are facing in the right direction, all you need to do is keep on walking.” ― Gautama Buddha

Sometimes we find ourselves lost in our distractions that we walk in a circular fashion because we don’t have purpose and/or goal in mind. Purpose can mean placing meaning into the goals we set for ourselves.  Without a purpose there is no meaning, therefore the goal is not worth pursuing and without a clear direction.  Our purpose is what we need to constantly remind ourselves why we do things we do to complete our goals.

 

 

Don’t Stop, Persist

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~When you reach the top, keep climbing~

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We don’t have to stop, when things get harder. It is all right to be persistent even if we’re alone in our struggle. Being persistent means that we will never give up.  We all have seen plants grow through hard soil and even through concrete. The plants were persistent in their growth and were rewarded with light from the sun. We got to be like those plants that grew through concrete and just keep going until we reach a milestone and an opportunity to look back to see that progress was made through our efforts and through our struggles.

Reorientation, Changes Us Not Things

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Various vehicles travelling down straight highway

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It is good to get away from the same routine. Traveling a distance is one the best ways to clear our mind.  While we’re away from home, we develop a new routine. Developing a new routine require us to make adjustments to our behaviors to accommodate our new surroundings.  With new behaviors we now have new routines until we return from our travels. In new surroundings, there is freshness about them where new learnings take place.  We have all experienced returning home while things are in the same places; but we experienced freshness about our home. This means that we left from our travels new reorientation and new learnings that we brought back with us. With these new reorientation and new learnings we have an opportunity to  continue to stimulate growth.

 

 

 

 

 

Grows It Beneath Our Feet

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all i need is somewhere i feel the grass beneath my feet[!]

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“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” – James Openheim

Why not plant the seeds and attend to it daily to make sure it is getting enough sun and water? Happiness is possible when our attention is on what we’re doing now. When our focus is on what we’re doing at this moment, we’re in a state where nothing else matters. We’re not concerned about what can make us happy.  Instead, we can experience a state of happiness while we’re doing a simple task. We become one with the task while everything is blocked out.  Let happiness grow beneath our feet while the distance of happiness phases.

It Is Our Choice, Fight or Flight

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Inca Terns at Living coasts

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We do one of two things; we either fight or flight, when it comes to self-preservation. When we have self-doubts and/or trepidations, and, when it comes to making a change in our lives, we can either choose fight or flight. If our choice is flight for our self-preservation, we will obsess and/or catastrophize about it. However, change can be motivating when we fight for our self-preservation. When it comes to fight, we are forced to make choices and forced to be specific on the task and more than willing to complete the necessary tasks. In other words, when we know the consequences are near, we have no choice but to take actions to change things around in our life.

 

Asking A Foolish Questions, Saves Time

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Questions

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“He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask a question is a fool forever.” ~ Chinese Proverb

Why not feel a little stupid when we don’t know. For us to get ahead it is better to feel foolish now when asking a question then never knowing what we need to do to move forward. Asking questions about something we don’t know is the hallmark of power. Knowledge is powerful only if we can use it to our advantage and learn something from it that can help our progress along. Asking foolish questions saves a lot of time.  And we needn’t be afraid to ask for help when we need it, either.

 

Creativity and Choices

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CREATIVITY

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Creativity is another opportunity to have more choices in one’s life. Creativity is thinking differently than before. Creativity is revelation to something that we don’t know about. Creativity is the result of our imagination. Imagination is the expression of our creativity.  Creativity is permissible. Creativity is without judgments. Creativity is a tool to help to get around the closed doors— rigid thinking. Creativity is another form of choice. Creativity helps us to see beyond what seemed at the time impossible. It is in the way we think about things that we have an opportunity and ability to expand our mind.

 

Past Wrongs

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A heavy burden to carry

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“Remembering a wrong is like carrying a burden on the mind.” ― Gautama Buddha

Our memories are made from our experiences. It is how we respond to our past experiences that are important. Instead of burdening our minds with past wrongs, we can put the past wrongs in a reasonable perspective.  It’s no use thinking about past wrongs that were done to us, because we’re giving them power. Instead of burdening our minds with past wrongs that we regret that we have done to someone else, we can just let them go and do something to advocate changes to ourselves.

 

All That We Are

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Thoughts

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“All that we are is a result of what we have thought” ― Gautama Buddha

Our thinking is the result of our personality. We express our personality through our thoughts. It’s through our thoughts we express our feelings. We have a conscious and an unconscious mind. Consciously, we can only see in part, a very small part of reality while our unconscious mind sees more than we can consciously.  Whatever emotions we’re feeling and thoughts that are swirling in and out of our conscious mind, we are unconsciously predetermined.

Being unconsciously predetermined doesn’t mean we have no control over our lives. Sometimes we don’t know why we feel a certain way, maybe because we’re unaware of the thinking that’s producing the feelings that we’re experiencing. That’s when we should ask ourselves what is it that we’re thinking that’s producing this feeling. And then, we can change our thinking by either challenging the thought or just simply replace the thought with positive ones.

 

Getting Unstuck

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This is Sparta!!!

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When things aren’t going the way we want them to go, we get frustrated and feel stuck. When we get frustrated and feel stuck, it is time to look inside us for resources to get unstuck. It is time to utilize what we already have for things to start changing. We also need to begin to readjust our behavior to the situation that’s getting us frustrated and stuck. We don’t have to add to bad luck with our frustration. It just makes things worse. Instead, we can see what we can we do in ourselves to change our attitude and our perception of what’s making us frustrated and feel stuck. That’s the first start. Then we can alter our behaviors in making small accomplishments until we fulfill our desire.

 

 

Positive Thoughts

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Double rainbow

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We all have thoughts coming in and out of consciousness. We have pleasant thoughts and unpleasant ones swirling in and out of our mind.  Some of us have the tendency to dwell on the unpleasant thoughts. Dwelling on the unpleasant thoughts is a knee-jerk reaction. The unpleasant feelings are the result of dwelling on unpleasant thoughts. Instead, we can begin to dwell on pleasant thoughts that can boost our self-respect resulting to pleasant experiences. Another thing we can do, is write down the unpleasant or negative thoughts and reframe them into a different context.

 

Take Control Of Your Life

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Sunshine...
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If we can’t control what’s around us, then let us take control of our own lives.  We’re pretty much the pilots of our lives. We still have to make the final decision to where we want our lives to go.  Even if we look for answers from others or meditate or pray for answers from a higher power or the universe, we still have to make the final decisions about what we think is best for ourselves. Taking charge of one’s life could mean fulfilling a dream, going back to college, writing a book, learning a new hobby, going on a trip to place where we haven’t gone before, learning a new language, etc.

 

 

Last Minute Reflections

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Ulsoor Lake reflections

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We’re now in the month of August. Fall will soon be here. Some of us want to enjoy last-minute vacation spots. Everything still looks green while butterflies are flying and bumble bees are still going from one flower to the next. Although, this summer has been a rainy one, there are plenty of days left to visit different places. We all have to go on a vacation and get away from our routines and reflect on the year so far and think about what’s next in our future.  A vacation is an opportunity for reflection.

 

Making Other Lives Better

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Paul, Höddi, Bernat helping each other up

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“Your life will become better by making other lives better.” – Will Smith

If the majority of the world’s population strive to help another in need, then there would be no such thing as poverty. There would be peace in the world. There would be no hunger. It starts with one person to find ways to make another person’s life better. We can start small in making other lives better. It doesn’t have to be something big. It really depends on what the individual needs are and how we can help that individual or individuals.

Everything Is Temporary

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Monarch Life Cycle — 14 of 20

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When things are going well in our lives, we ought to appreciate every moment because it won’t last. But when there are some difficulties in our life, then we can be reminded that the unpleasant experience is only temporary. It is not lasting. Everything has a beginning middle and an ending. Our difficulties will eventually past. So if we look at this way, we can better deal with things in our lives without being overwhelmed by them.  Since everything is constantly changing, then there is no such thing is permanency. Getting some perspective on things is very helpful and dealing with life challenges.

Someone’s Smile

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All smiles by CherieJ - Portrait Photography

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Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ☺ – Mother Teresa

We all have experienced someone’s smile; we experience a positive feeling throughout our body. Someone’s smile can break up a feeling of being stuck in one’s life and brightens someone’s world.  Someone’s smile can help increase another’s self-esteem. We begin to feel better about ourselves when we receive a smile from someone. A smile alters our emotional state into something positive. When we give a smile to someone, it is the result of previous smiles  that have touched our lives.  A smile is contagious because we find ourselves smiling without force. A spontaneous smile is the best because it’s without a plan. A smile is an enjoyable experience and universal. Every culture understands a smile. A smile is a basic non-verbal gesture that signifies that everything is okay. It’s like a dog experiencing his enthusiasm about seeing his owner after they haven’t seen each other for a long period.